Top 7 Things that will be heard today during Superbowl

#7. Oh my god! That guy is SO BIG!

#6. Why do they keep running into that pile of players? Can't they just go around?

#5. I don't understand this game either. I'm just here for the socializing and food.  Is Joe Montana playing today?

#4. I heard that today is the day where the highest number of spousal abuse cases is reported.

#3. Hi Everybody! Oh, this seven-layer dip is amazing! Did you make it yourself or buy it? So who's playing today?

#2. I don't care what game is on! You can watch another game next week! I need you to put up those shelves now!

#1. OH MY GOD! THIS IS THE FIRST FOOTBALL GAME I'VE WATCHED AND I JUST WON $500 IN THE OFFICE POOL!! WOO HOO!

Poor Choice of a Word

Heard on news yesterday: "The gentleman went out and raped a woman within 24 hours of an early prison release."

Another Oxymoron

Blackened white fish? Would that make it invisible?

Dad, You'll Be Missed

We love you Dad.

Zaven Chakmakian
Jan 14, 1924 - Jan 7, 2010

Happy Birthday 2010!

No this is not a joke.

Winner: Most Tasteless Bumper Sticker

Adorable little old Japanese couple driving this big truck.

A good day on the mountain

This guy's got the right idea. Any day you can go snowboarding in a Teletubby costume, the terrorists have not won.